Communications between departments regarding absurd matters.
Notice is hereby issued regarding items that nearly entered our collection and then reconsidered themselves.
All staff must comply with the following retroactive precautions.
Pursuant to routine sleep governance, the Dream Judiciary issues guidance on evidence sourced from realities that almost occurred.
All staff are reminded: plausibility is not probative, but it is frequently persuasive.
CASE_ID AW-2026-052 is hereby reopened for the duration of a small cloud passing indoors.
Please read before your confidence precipitates near colleagues.
Notice to all counters: Several arrivals have presented documentation from universes that almost occurred.
This memo clarifies intake, stamping, and polite refusal procedures for incomplete realities.
CASE_ID AW-2026-036 is hereby closed and placed in ARCHIVED status.
This memo standardizes the handling of a recurring unnamed feeling found in near-missed realities.
Notice is hereby issued regarding a future that arrived in the wrong envelope.
Please read before scheduling any events that may insist on occurring.
The Department of Lost Thoughts confirms the safe archiving of an idea that briefly belonged to everyone.
Please stop checking your pockets; it has already been filed.
The Museum of Almost considers deploying our first olfactory fossils. Guidelines for “sniff display” etiquette are now in draft. Please refrain from sneezing on artifacts.
All staff are reminded: Recurring dream evidence is no longer admissible unless submitted on official pillowcase forms. See Section B for new pillow fluff guidelines.
