Dream Judiciary — Memorandum on the Admissibility of Near-Dream Evidence

Filing Details: CASE_ID: AW-2026-060 | DEPARTMENT: Dream Judiciary | CATEGORY: Internal Memos | STATUS: ARCHIVED
Memo 1: This memo clarifies which Near-Dream materials may be entered into the record without waking the record.
Memo 2: “Near-Dream Evidence” includes: almost-memories, draft destinies, and any witness who is certain they never existed.
Memo 3: The Court recognizes three levels of reliability: (A) Vivid, (B) Insistent, (C) Correct but Embarrassed.
Memo 4: Level A is admissible if it arrives with a timestamp and at least one inexplicable key.
Memo 5: Level B is admissible only when sworn under pillow, with corners neatly tucked to prevent perjury.
Memo 6: Level C is inadmissible on weekdays, unless the claimant apologizes to the hallway they wronged.
Memo 7: Objections must be raised within ten seconds of waking, or filed retroactively in triplicate with the Night Clerk.
Memo 8: If opposing counsel presents “common sense,” the presiding dream shall recess until it stops making eye contact.
Memo 9: Exhibits that attempt to become the judge shall be seated in the gallery and provided a small gavel-shaped cookie.
Memo 10: Sentences issued in Near-Dream matters are enforceable only in the jurisdiction where the door is almost a door.
Memo 11: All staff shall staple uncertainties to the upper-left margin; loose doubts have been clogging the vents.
Memo 12: Archival note: This guidance supersedes Memo 4(b) “On the Use of Singing Receipts,” which was too persuasive to remain lawful.