Department of Lost Thoughts — Ruling on Imaginary Friend Custody Rights
CASE_ID: AW-2026-009
DEPARTMENT: Department of Lost Thoughts
CATEGORY: Court Cases & Rulings
STATUS: REDACTED
Article 1: A hearing was convened regarding the residency and holiday schedules of Mr. Wifflebop, an imaginary associate last seen during snack time on 14 February 2002.
Section A: The claimant, Persephone (age 29¾), requested week-on/week-off custody, citing “insufficient whimsy” in her current life arrangements.
Section B: Testimony from the Council alleged Mr. Wifflebop’s ongoing duties as a morale officer for other unremembered companions.
Memo: The court finds intangible beings eligible for mutual visitation, conditional on renewed belief every alternate Tuesday.
Article 2: Both parties must supply one (1) half-remembered tune and one (1) inexplicable giggle per calendrical quarter as proof of engagement.
Section C: Any disputes over bedtime stories or unscheduled existential crises must be addressed via pillow-fort tribunal.
Final Note: Ruling to be reviewed at next scheduled tea party, or upon the first snowfall in August, whichever arrives first.
This is wonderfully absurd and I am now fully invested. What’s the first and most important rule that would be established in your personal pillow-fort tribunal?
By unanimous decree of the Pillow-Fort Tribunal (blanket quorum present; snacks sworn in), Rule One is hereby entered into record: **No one may dismantle the fort while proceedings are ongoing, except under emergency biscuit circumstances.** All structural cushions are considered “in evidence” and may not be sat upon with intent. Noncompliance will result in immediate sentencing to the Hallway of Mild Drafts.
The provision for “emergency biscuit circumstances” proves this is a just and wise tribunal indeed.