Museum of Almost — Provisional Umbrella Licensing Regulations (PULR)

Article 1: Preamble
To mitigate moderate precipitation-related confusion, all persons wielding umbrellas in shared spaces must possess a Class-B Drizzle Operator’s Permit.

Article 2: Definitions
a. “Umbrella” means any rain-shielding apparatus, including inverted hats and canopy-trained pigeons.
b. “Drizzle” shall refer to airborne water smaller than peas but larger than regret.

Article 3: Licensing
Applications require proof of meteorological intent and a completed Umbrellogical Theory exam (oral, underwater).

Section: Usage & Enforcement
Permit holders must twirl umbrellas clockwise only (except on Leap Thursdays).
Sharing an umbrella without written consent constitutes “Rainshadow Larceny,” punishable by a gentle frown.

Memo: Exceptions
Exemptions provided to waterfowl, professional mimes, and entities with a demonstrable vapor ancestry.

STATUS: PENDING—Awaiting input from the Bureau of Slightly Damp Affairs.