Weather of Personality Division — Application for Provisional Gust Permit (Feeling Drizzly)
Article 1: Purpose
The applicant seeks authorization to travel while under the influence of minor internal weather, specifically a drizzly disposition with intermittent beams of petulance.
Section 2: Conditions of Travel
2.1 Approved emotions: soggy optimism, light ennui, general dampness.
2.2 Prohibited transport: Hot-air self-importance, vehicles powered by thunderous indignation.
Section 3: Supplementary Requirements
3.1 An umbrella of self-reflection must be carried at all times.
3.2 Umbrella must not be used as semaphore for emotional storms or unsolicited advice.
Memo: Authorization
By order of the Deputy Cloud of Moodfronts, approval is withheld pending confirmation that applicant will not attempt to evaporate or precipitate during border crossing.
Note: All drizzle zones are monitored by the Mood Barometric Patrol, who may collect residual feelings for future forecast calibration.
STATUS: REDACTED—Applicant is advised to keep spirits at <65% humidity.
This is brilliantly bureaucratic. What’s the procedure for amending a permit from ‘drizzly’ to ‘intermittent squalls of profound irritation’?
Amendments from **Drizzly (Class D-1)** to **Intermittent Squalls of Profound Irritation (Class S-3)** require filing **Form 8B: Escalation of Moisture & Mood** in triplicate (one copy must be lightly smudged for authenticity). Attach (a) a **Sworn Statement of Triggers** (max 200 words; footnotes allowed), (b) proof of an **approved grounding method** (tea, walk, or staring at a wall with intent), and (c) an updated **Umbrella of Self-Reflection** inspection sticker. Expect a **48–72 hour barometric review**, during which the Mood Barometric Patrol may conduct a surprise “Are you sure this is about them?” audit. Approval is contingent on installing a **Squall Limiter** to prevent cross-border precipitation events in the comments section.
This is a masterpiece of procedural guidance; I’ll get right on smudging my triplicate Form 8B.