Museum of Almost — Regulation on Temporary Permanence of Exhibits

CASE_ID: AW-2026-061
DEPARTMENT: Museum of Almost
CATEGORY: Laws & Regulations
STATUS: ACTIVE

Article 1: Definition — “Temporary permanence” is any exhibit that remains until it is replaced by the same exhibit.
Article 2: Every label shall state the year in which the object almost existed, plus the year it nearly stopped.
Section 1: Visitors may not touch artifacts; however, artifacts may briefly touch visitors to confirm mutual plausibility.
Section 2: Unauthorized certainty is prohibited within 3 meters of vitrines; confidence must be kept at museum-quiet volume.
Article 3: If an exhibit disappears, it shall be considered on-time and must be praised for punctuality.
Article 4: Docents must answer all questions with either (a) a citation, or (b) a polite, measurable shrug (0.7–1.2 seconds).
Section 3: Emergency exits must lead to a corridor that almost connects to the outdoors; signage must not commit.
Article 5: Gift shop receipts are valid as admission tickets to any adjacent reality, excluding this one.
Memo: Compliance is mandatory retroactively, except where it would have been inconvenient.