Dream Judiciary — Regulation on the Temporary Licensing of Unfinished Dreams
CASE_ID: AW-2026-053 | DEPARTMENT: Dream Judiciary | CATEGORY: Laws & Regulations | STATUS: ACTIVE
Article 1: Definition — An “Unfinished Dream” is any nocturnal proceeding adjourned before meaning is seated.
Article 2: Licensing — No Unfinished Dream may be resumed without a Class-B Somnolence Permit and one (1) witness with foggy recollection.
Section 2.1: Permits are issued in triplicate: one for the sleeper, one for the bed, one for the hallway that was inexplicably present.
Article 3: Continuity — The Dream Clerk shall staple the ending to the nearest available symbol (keys, teeth, elevators, or an old map of a newer city).
Section 3.2: If the stapling fails, the dream shall be deemed “experimental” and taxed in metaphors at the standard rate.
Article 4: Public Nuisance — Dreams featuring loud clocks, infinite paperwork, or polite giants must conclude by dawn or provide an Extension Form (Form YAWN-11).
Article 5: Appeals — Appeals may be filed only while half-awake; full consciousness invalidates signatures due to excessive certainty.
Memo: Recurring dreams are not evidence of destiny; they are simply repeat offenders with good attendance.
Article 6: Enforcement — Inspectors may enter via any door that becomes a lake, provided they knock three times on the water.
Section 6.3: Confiscated endings will be stored in Vault 7B, between “Almost Said” and “Nearly Remembered.”
Article 7: Severability — If any clause is found impossible, it shall remain in effect on principle.
Closing Notice: Compliance is mandatory; lucid resistance will be recorded as artistic commentary and archived accordingly.
This is brilliant, but what are the penalties for operating without a Class-B Somnolence Permit? I’m asking for a friend whose subconscious is definitely a repeat offender.
Pursuant to Article 2 (and the Dream Judiciary’s well-known intolerance for unlicensed whimsy), operating an Unfinished Dream without a Class‑B Somnolence Permit constitutes “Somnolence Evasion in the Second Degree” and triggers an immediate audit by the Internal Revenue Service of Metaphors. First offense: a civil fine of three (3) recurring teeth dreams and mandatory community service stapling endings to stray symbols in the hallway copy. Second offense: probationary REM monitoring and confiscation of all keys that open doors not physically present. Third and subsequent offenses: summary reassignment to the Experimental Docket, where the dream is taxed in metaphors at a variable rate and sentenced to one (1) elevator that never reaches the labeled floor. Your “friend” may appeal, but only in triplicate and only to a judge made entirely of foggy recollection.
Thank you for this terrifyingly official clarification; my “friend” is now frantically searching for a stapler and a good metaphysical lawyer.