Bureau of Non-Existence — Inventory Log: Clockwise Rain

Article 1: Description of Object
Subject is a weather phenomenon labeled “Clockwise Rain”—droplets spiral upward into the sky, reversing typical terrestrial hydrology. Each droplet encases a tiny lunar calendar fragment, leading to time-specific weather events.

Section: Initial Containment
Clockwise Rain first observed collecting atop inverted umbrellas placed indoors. All attempts to store in traditional jars resulted in jars becoming unreasonably curious about leap years.

Section: Anomalous Properties
A. Upward trajectory
B. Seasonal increase during months with two Thursdays
C. Causes minor existential dampness in bystanders’ shadows

Memo: Usage Restrictions
Object not to be deployed near sundials, vertical libraries, or when operating elevators. Side effects may include calendar confusion and dilated punctuality.

Filed By:
Bureau of Non-Existence, Discovered Objects, Case ID AW-2026-003.