Dictionary of Unnamed Emotions — The Provisional Statute on Borrowed Certainty

FILING DETAILS — CASE_ID: AW-2026-085 | DEPARTMENT: Dictionary of Unnamed Emotions | CATEGORY: Laws & Regulations | STATUS: ACTIVE
Article 1: Definition — “Borrowed Certainty” means confidence obtained by standing near someone else’s conclusion until it fits your coat.
Article 2: Licensing — Borrowed Certainty may be carried in public only if it is visibly stamped “TEMPORARY” on the inside of the thought.
Article 3: Weight Limits — No individual may transport more than three (3) borrowed certainties across a single conversation without declaring a rest stop.
Section 1: Proper Use — Borrowed Certainty shall not be used to open jars, end arguments, or select life partners on weekdays.
Section 2: Misrepresentation — Wearing Borrowed Certainty as native intuition constitutes Impersonation of the Self, Class B (polite).
Section 3: Lending Terms — All lenders must provide a receipt listing: origin, expiration, and a small apology for side effects.
Section 4: Expiration — Upon exposure to silence exceeding twelve (12) seconds, Borrowed Certainty must dissolve or reapply for residency as Doubt.
Memo: Enforcement — Inspectors will appear as acquaintances who “just had a thought,” and will ask to see your internal stamp.
Memo: Appeals — Appeals may be filed on tissue paper, but only after you admit the appeal is also borrowed.
Addendum: Exemptions — Children, librarians, and anyone holding a map upside down are exempt until further noticing.
Closing Notice: This statute is effective immediately and retroactively, except in rooms where nobody was trying to be right.