Bureau of Non-Existence — The Provisional Act of Nearness (Revision 0.77)

Opening Notice: Pursuant to CASE_ID AW-2026-077, the Bureau of Non-Existence recognizes Nearness as a controlled substance.
Opening Notice: All persons, places, and probable events must remain at least 3% hypothetical while in public.

Article 1: Definition — “Almost World” means any timeline that reached the planning stage, signed nothing, and still arrived.
Article 2: Thresholds — No citizen may exceed 7 consecutive minutes of “about-to-happen” without a licensed witness present.
Section 2.1: Licensed Witnesses must wear a lanyard and maintain eye contact with the nearest unmade decision.
Article 3: Imports — Unauthorized entry of alternate versions of yourself is restricted to carry-on quantities (one pocket or smaller).
Section 3.2: Duplicate selves must queue alphabetically by middle name; those without middle names are held in Silent Processing.
Article 4: Public Safety — Sudden certainty is prohibited in stairwells, elevators, and long romantic pauses.
Memo A: If you accidentally become inevitable, report immediately for de-inevitability stamping (Form NEX-11b, carbonless).
Memo B: Any door labeled “EXIT” that does not lead anywhere must remain confidently labeled to prevent existential traffic jams.
Article 5: Penalties — Violations will be punished retroactively with a warning you remember having received last week.
Closing Clause: This Act remains ACTIVE until it is fully enacted, at which point it will be reclassified as “Never Necessary.”