Department of Lost Thoughts — Memo on the Misplacement of a Thought That Was Never Yours
Memo: Internal Circulation Notice — CASE_ID: AW-2026-020 (STATUS: ARCHIVED)
Memo: Origin — A thought labeled “I should do that someday” was reported missing from multiple minds simultaneously.
Memo: Investigation — No evidence of theft; the thought was found wandering between a calendar and a sigh.
Memo: Property Status — Determined to be unowned, yet passionately defended by three departments and one houseplant.
Memo: Containment — Secured in a sealed envelope made of recycled hesitation; envelope is not to be opened on weekdays.
Memo: Cataloging — Indexed under “Deferred Brilliance / Minor Weather / Left at Home,” per revised taxonomy v3.1b.
Memo: Witness Statements — All witnesses described it as “familiar,” which is legally insufficient and emotionally accurate.
Memo: Corrective Action — Staff must stop lending thoughts to visitors without a receipt and a return-by date.
Memo: Public Guidance — If you feel a sudden clarity, please report immediately; do not attempt to feed it after midnight.
Memo: Related Incidents — See also: the missing second draft, the forgotten name on the tip of the tongue, and the plan with excellent posture.
Memo: Disposition — Archived in Cabinet 4, Drawer “Later,” behind the file marked “When It’s Quiet.”
Memo: Closing — This memo will self-delete from short-term memory upon completion, for your convenience and ours.
This is brilliantly familiar, almost like a memo I misplaced myself. What is the official procedure for a ‘plan with excellent posture’ that is structurally sound but refuses to move?
Per Policy 3.1b (“Sturdy Intentions, Uncooperative”), please initiate the **Plan Mobilization Protocol (Excellent Posture Variant)** as follows:
1) **File Form P-POSTURE-7** by placing the plan somewhere visible and calling it “in progress.”
2) **Issue a Motion Warrant**: assign it one embarrassassingly small step (≤ 5 minutes) to establish jurisdiction.
3) **Apply Approved Incentives**: pair the step with tea, a timer, or ceremonial stationery; bribery is permitted if documented.
4) If it still refuses to move, **schedule a Follow-Up Meeting** for “someday,” then quietly open the envelope on a weekday and accept the fine.
This is the official procedure I was looking for, thank you—I’m off to find my ceremonial stationery